Kristy 021 609 501

The Better Life

I have had a couple of years of major self reflection, change, and attempting personal growth like never before. I'm letting my husband, family and friends be the judge of how much I'm actually succeeding, but I feel happier, healthier and more in control AND able to let things go than I have before, so that's gotta count for something.
I have always been interested in personal growth. I've always been extremely driven to understand human nature and why we are the way we are. I've often felt very negatively about myself - I've felt awkward, useless, ugly, weird, lonely, excluded… And in case you didn't know these are not good feelings. The great thing about knowledge and truth and wisdom is once you get a bite of it you just want more. Once a light goes on in one area you think - hang on, maybe something can switch up over here too. Probably the highlight of my early ventures in personal development was doing a personality test when I was about 17, that put me in the Perfect Otter Quadrant, and suddenly I didn't feel so weird and on the outside anymore. I don't know how the ratios really work but in my mind it meant that at least 25% of people were like me and I also had crossovers into the other quadrants so maybe I wasn't such a misfit after all! Suddenly I could see I had real strengths in amongst those things I thought were weaknesses and ever since then I have done almost every test I could as well as listened to sermons, seminars and podcasts, read some of the greatest books to shift your mind to what is truly possible, and have really been on an amazing journey.
However, the spanner in the works was infertility. And then labour. And then becoming a mother with such incredibly high expectations of myself, and a baby who struggled with spilling and reflex and (according to the charts) poor weight gain. Combined with a lack of milk supply from me. For me this was the perfect storm and I am embarrassed about the person I was at times. I didn't know how to look after myself as well as my beautiful baby girl - I was consumed by meeting her every need, determined to do everything 'right', and basically I just set myself up for failure every day. Because unless she drank the 'right' amount and slept the 'right' amount I was failing. I shut myself off from people to try and cope and really wasn't coping well at all with all that pressure. Needless to say what should have been a time of pure joy was really tainted because I did not have great coping methods.

We got through, I learned a lot, and baby number two was a much more peaceful ride. Even when we did a major extension to our house and were living for over 3 months in my mother's 2 bedroom unit while he was still pretty much a newborn. And all amongst my parent's separating. It was great to feel like I was more equipped and suddenly what could have been a pretty horrendous time was bearable and great things came out of it.

The best resources I found were:

Living Wisdom Counselling - I have had sessions with David Riddell going back over almost ten years and the things he can pinpoint in one session can literally change your life! I have received so much wisdom from him. Also this year I was able to do the two week school which was incredible. One of my favourite ideas of his is that you don't have a money problem - you have a thinking problem. In other words mental health equals better wealth. Which I have absolutely seen to be true. And it starts from being grateful for what you already have. Especially for us lucky Kiwis sitting here with our beaches and snow and lakes, rivers and beaches.

The Big Leap
Get Rich Lucky Bitch
Strengths Finder
The Maker's Diet
Big Magic
So many more...

My new local business group with incredibly talented, creative and passionate women who all live locally and want to support each other. You've got to surround yourself with the people you want to learn from because ultimately you're going to end up like the people you spend the most time with! I've also made some amazing friends around the globe thanks to the good ol internet. I love technology.

Essential Oils - amazingly there are parts of the brain which can only be unlocked by scent. Oils work in many ways with our bodies to support and nourish our wellbeing but a huge part for me has been in emotions. To begin the oil blend (made up of Lime, Cedarwood and vanilla) has the perfect combination of beautifully pure organic oils which for me work instantly to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. How I wish I had this when my babies were little. Over time using it I actually felt much more able to cope with stressful circumstances overall. The brain is plastic (so much good new research on this it blows my mind!) and you can change brain patterns. But I'm convinced that this process has been made easier for me with using oils consciously for this reason. To be honest it's not easy writing this and being vulnerable about even struggling with emotions. Most people I have regular contact with seem to have everything together but I do wonder if we are just really good at wearing our masks... Who has got time for a meltdown anyway right?!

I've recently heard from someone near to me that using this oil have stopped those crazy cortisol flushes you get (like when you're embarrassed or hit by a wave of panic/nervousness). And I can see differences in my kids too when we are using them. From the ones which gives them more focus to the ones which help to relax and calm them. My daughter's favourite oil is called White Angelica and it is know for helping release emotional build up and tension and everything my little intense-feeler of a daughter smells it she just really breathes it in like a drug and smiles. As a mum this is pretty priceless.


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